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Arjun Aloysius To Be Appointed Central Bank Governor

After hanging on for 14 months after the first allegations against corruption in the bond market, Arjuna Mahendran has finally succumbed to pressure and vacated his post as Governor of the Central Bank. Following the footsteps of his mentor, Ranil Wickramasinghe, Mahendran gallantly hung on to his post despite widespread public disapproval and numerous failures.…

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IMF Sent Home: Rains Solve Liquidity Crisis

IMF Sent Home Following the massive rains Sri Lanka’s government has stated that they will no longer need IMF support, “The IMF said that Sri Lanka has liquidity problems. I urge them to come here and see for themselves – we have liquidity pouring out of every unplanned drainage system – I can categorically state…

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The Rajapaksa Diaries: Uganda

The Chronicle obtained a copy of ex-pres Rajapaksa’s personal diary, which he had left behind at the Dubai Airport following his recent trip to Uganda. Day 1: Just stepped off my Emirates flight in Kampala. God, I can’t believe I have to fly Business Class like a peasant. Yahapalana cheapskates couldn’t even afford First Class…

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ChiChi’s New Song

Hot on the heals of his hit single Man Mula Wela, Ex-Presidential progeny, Rohitha “Chi Chi” Rajapaksa has released a second song, inspired by DJ Bravo’s “Champion” Champion: Rajapaksa Mix Chi Chi, Astro Chi Chi, Astro Chi Chi, Astro Champion, Champion, Champion, Champion Everyone know say Chi Chi a champion Champion, Champion, Champion, Champion Everyone…

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VAT is Love?

Members of the public were heard singing this song outside Finance Minister Ravi K’s office a short while ago. The question, we believe, is rhetorical. VAT is love? Ravi don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me No more Ravi don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me No more VAT is love? Yeah I don’t know, why you…